The days come and go. I find myself sitting around not
really wanting to do anything. I’m not getting anything done! Things aren’t
important to me. I can’t feel interested enough to tidy up. I want to shake
myself awake.
I live in an eased state. However, I now don’t feel alive. - 20 Nov 08
So much is expected of me. There is so much to get done. So little energy with which to do anything, though. I feel heavy and weighted. It’s hard to lift my head in the mornings. It’s an effort to move my feet through the day. My chest feels as though pressure is being applied by some hand unseen causing me to gasp for air in great gulping sighs more and more often.
The pangs of futility are frequent and many. - 3 Nov
09 I live in an eased state. However, I now don’t feel alive. - 20 Nov 08
So much is expected of me. There is so much to get done. So little energy with which to do anything, though. I feel heavy and weighted. It’s hard to lift my head in the mornings. It’s an effort to move my feet through the day. My chest feels as though pressure is being applied by some hand unseen causing me to gasp for air in great gulping sighs more and more often.
Blackest dark, the why of night, creeps its way to me.
Whispers of road noise, echoes of movement, almost like the sighs of pleasure
from love. So many sounds but I only wish to hear one.
You.
Your breath, your
pulse, your pleasurable sigh. – 26 Nov 10